Nobody said it was easy
Oh it’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m going back to the start
“You will travel far and wide.”
That was my fortune tonight – “You will travel far and wide.”
Seems more like a reading from my past than my future.
I have traveled more than 2,700 miles to get to where I am. I have crossed 7 states, countless counties, many rivers, mountain ranges, and three whole time zones to get to where I am sitting right this very second. I walked away from my family, my friends, my job, my home… my life.
I have traveled more than far and wide.
I have traveled big and tall… large and small. I have traveled light. I have traveled weary, and broken, and heavy-hearted. I have traveled without a compass and without a destination.
My trip has not been easy.
At some points, I thought about going home. Not the home I left behind but the home my heart yearns for… Charleston. I thought of calling my grandparents – my aunt and uncle – and asking them if I could come sooner than anticipated. They would have jumped at the opportunity. My Papa’s wandering mind would have been put at ease. My Nana, my Mimmie, my Auntie Crystal and Uncle Jeff would have fought over custody of me. I would have been the most coddled 27-year-old in the South.
But I’m more stubborn than that.
I’m more hard-headed, and persistent, and independent than that.
So, I waited.
And today, my stubbornness – my hard-headedness, my persistence – my independence paid off.
I got a job.
And I did it all on my own. No strings. No acquaintances. No nothing. Just me. Just me and my experience, my talent, my expertise, and my dazzling fucking personality. Oh, and my great references… they probably helped too.
I got the call while I was at a brewery. I know, I know, you’re super surprised and really shocked. I’ll even give you four-ish seconds to pull your face up off the ground…
The Lost Abbey Brewery, to be exact. I was at the Lost Abbey Brewery in Escondido. Of course, the irony is not lost on me – Lost Abbey… monks/nuns… Jesus… God… prayers… answered… job… praise tha Lawd. Anywho, I jumped up and down in the parking lot. There was a guy toking on an electronic ciggie to my left. I didn’t give a fuck. “Excuse me, brah, while I do a ‘Just got a Big Girl job in tha San-D’ jig.” #sorrynotsorry.
I could barely contain myself. So, I called my mom. And naturally, she didn’t answer.
No, seriously. Funny like, “Hahahahahahahaha.” Why? Because the last words she spoke to me – literally five hours ago – were, “If you get a job, I had better be the first person you call. I love you. Bye.” So, I called Dad. My plan was to be all “I GOT THE JOB!!!!” when he picked up the phone. And then, when he handed the phone off to Momma say, “Sorry, bitch. Ya sent me to voicemail. Say, how’s that Japanese?” But she out-smarted me. That sneaky B answered Dad’s phone, got what she wanted, and said, “Hold on, I’ve gotta order my food.”
We had a phone party. I’m sure Dad even let her order dessert. After I got off the phone with my parents I texted my brother and sister. And then, I told my Auntie Crystal and Tay. I waited until I got home to tell Kristen. I poured us both a glass of champagne, “Here’s to our clean house and new punkin decorations.” Clink. Sip. “And to me stopping by WalMart tonight and grabbing Furious 7.” Clink. Sip. “And I also got that job…”
The two of us started jumping up and down and yelling so loudly the dogs went ape shit crazy. We both have scratches all over our arms and legs from Duke’s attempt to “protect” us… from each other? There were immediate plans to celebrate – dinner, drinks, out, extravaganzas! “But seriously,” she said, “way to be so fucking nonchalant!”
I will rest easy tonight… easier tonight.
I did this on my own – completely and totally on my own. I didn’t use a recruiter, or a temp agency, or a head hunter. I didn’t get this job because I knew someone who knew a guy. I didn’t have anyone pull strings or push my resume along. I didn’t even have to ask my parents for money – not even once.
I. Did. This.
I got this job. I got this job and I have secured my future here. Not one single person on this earth can credit his or herself with this triumph but me. ME. And I could bask in this glory for days – weeks even. Especially knowing that there are still individuals out there – out in the universe – that
wish hope expect for me to fail.
This post is for you.
I have traveled far and wide.
Farther and wider than you will ever know. I have seen depths you will most likely never see. My hands have felt their way out of the darkest tunnels and my fingers have clawed their way out of the deepest ravines to get to where I am. I have been exhausted and broken. I have doubted my choices, my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, and my own self-worth. I have made sacrifices – sacrifices that should have never been called upon me to make. I have stopped and started over. I have endured pain – the kind of pain that wasn’t mine to bear.
I have prayed for my life.
But I am here.
I am here and I am packed up and ready to fucking go.
Because I will travel to the ends of the earth for what I believe in.
And I believe in do-overs. I believe in dream-come-trues, happily-ever-afters, and forevers. I believe in joy. I believe in looking out the window and seeing the mountains to my left and the sea to my right. I believe in setting a goal and reaching it. I believe in family, friends, Jesus, and the power of positivity. I believe that there is nothing more beautiful – more compelling – than the strength of a woman.
I believe there is absolutely nothing in this universe I cannot accomplish.
Beg to differ?
I fucking dare you.