Heads Carolina, Tails California

Heads, Carolina

Tails, California.

Somewhere greener, somewhere warmer.

Up in the mountains, down by the ocean.

Where? It don’t matter, as long as we’re goin’

Somewhere together. I’ve got a quarter.

Heads, Carolina

Tails, California.

– Jo Dee Messina


Kristen called me the other night and updated me on her Navy Man boyfriend’s order status.

San Diego it is!

Woo! Zoo!

Even though the thought of my best friend’s other half moving all the way to the other side of the country seems devastating, I am actually quite relieved. Relieved Dan got his first choice. Relieved Dan will be near his family in California. Relieved Dan will only be deployed for a fraction of the time he had originally anticipated. And relieved that my best friend can eventually find peace.

Kristen, like so many others in her situation, has struggled for a very long time with the future. She has struggled with being away from Dan, and Navy life, and not knowing what will come next. But I think most of all, she has struggled with wanting to start a life but not knowing when, or where, or how it will happen.

Now, she knows… sort of.

It’s in San Diego.

My best friend’s life will soon be in San Diego…

On the other side of the country…

Time zones away.

Humm. Hadn’t really thought of that. Time zones away. She will be three hours behind me. Huh. That may cause a problem. I think about drunk dialing, and random texts, and Gmail chatting while we’re not busy at work… three hours behind. I’ll have to start thinking in West Coast and East Coast time. I will have to stop and say, “Wait. Is she even awake yet?” And how does television work out there? Do they get to watch everything at the same time as us just three hours earlier? So when Keeping Up With The Kardashians comes on at 9:00 p.m. for me, can I FaceTime Kristen and we watch it together? But it will really be 6:00 p.m. for her, right? Geez, that seems a little early, no?

Ahh damn, this is really turning out to be a real pain in my ass. Now I’m just confusing the shit out of myself.  I mean, seriously, is she or isn’t she going to be able to shop online Black Friday sales before me?

Whatever. My point is, in T-a year and a half (ish), one of my oldest and dearest friendships will be getting a lot more complicated.

Once again, our lives will be stretched across miles of highway, and cities, and state lines. Eventually, I will be 1/3 of a bi-coastal tri-friendship. Soon, we will have to work even harder to make time for one another and make even more of an effort to stay in touch via technology.

Soooo, I guess we’ll be doing a lot less of this:



… and we probably won’t be sharing a whole lot of those.


But on the other hand, there will be so many more adventures! My best friend will be in California! I will visit her there, and we can do Vegas, and drive the Pacific Coast Highway, and stalk celebrities, and go to Alcatraz, and shop (or just walk) Rodeo Drive, and maybe – if we’re down to get really crazy – we could drive to Mexico! Olé!

Soooo, that means we will have a lot larger variety of these:



… and I will most likely receive a few more texts like that.


Things will be okay.

But then again, things will always be okay. Even if we lived a million, billion, trillion miles apart.


Because family is like that.

That’s just how we roll.

Space, and distance, and time mean nothing. True friendship – true love – transcends any Navy orders, or military deployment, or cross-country move, or job change, or time zone. True love never falters, or withers away, or depletes over miles. It strengthens, and deepens, and grows more abundant. And although distance may harden your heart, it does so in the kindest of ways – you grow fonder, and more appreciative, and infinitely more grateful for the little time you get to spend together.




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7 thoughts on “Heads Carolina, Tails California

  1. You put it in words so beautifully what we always feel….ain't no mountain high enough , ain't no valley low enough…….

  2. Megan told me I should read this…partly I think to catch up on life with Kristen, and also partly because I'm so far away from my friendships as well. Being as I'm halfway around the world and missing my friends daily, your words hit home hard and in the most beautiful way!

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