Give Me One Reason

Give me one reason to stay here

And I’ll turn right back around 

Give me one reason to stay here

And I’ll turn right back around

Because I don’t want leave you lonely

But you got to make me change my mind

– Tracy Chapman


It seems like the moment the clock strikes November people start coming out of the woodwork to profess their thanks for this, that, and the other.

It’s annoying.

It’s not the thankful part that gets on my nerve, it’s the stringing it out. The “thanks-a-day” part, if you will. Geez people, just make a freakin’ list of 30-thanks for efficiency’s sake and be done with it already. Quit cluttering up my Facebook Newsfeed with all of your sappy family, Jesus, and I-heart-hot-water mumbo-jumbo. Now, I’ve got some real trashy shit I plan on reading and I would appreciate not having to sift through your normal stuff just to get to it.

Anyhow, all of these Status updates got me to thinking…

I can’t be that asshole who doesn’t make a list of what she is thankful for. After all, I do maintain my own website solely devoted to lists and things of the like. So, I have carefully concocted, crafted, and constructed a months worth of thanks. And guess what? Just for your reading pleasure and convenience, here they are, all in one cute little compact blog entry… you’re welcome.

  1. Well, first and foremost I am thankful for Momma and Dad. Everything I am, and everything I have, is all because of those two. I have said it before, and I will say it a million times over again – I cannot thank them enough for being the Momma and Dad they are to the three of us. I am thankful they let me move back in as an adult, I am thankful they don’t make me pay rent, and I am thankful they haven’t kicked me out yet for not doing chores. You guys are awesome and I am freakin’ thankful for you.
  2. I am thankful for baby Jesus and God. Church may make me feel awkward, and I may not be the ideal Christian, but I pray everyday and I know I could not be where I am today without my faith.
  3. I am thankful for the relationship I have with my Bubba. He is one of my best friends and I love him like I love no other man in my life. I am thankful that I get to watch him play ball. I am thankful that I get to be his biggest fan. I am thankful that I get to be a big sister and a little sister all at the same time. He makes me laugh, we have fun, and I enjoy spending time with him.
  4. I am thankful for Mace. Much like the rest of the family, she can be so quick-witted and funny. Often times though, the nine year age gap gets the best of us. Sometimes, I feel like we have nothing in common. But every now and then, like the other morning when she randomly started singing a Weezer song that came on the radio, I think, “Yeah, this kid is definitely my sister.” I love her. She is her own person. She is mouthy, and hard headed, and lovely. One day, she will drive some man crazy.
  5. I am thankful for my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Although I may not see you all nearly enough, each one of you are in my thoughts daily and I enjoy seeing you whenever I can. You are all so very special to me and I could not imagine a birthday, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Columbus Day, or a random trip to Charleston without you.  I enjoy keeping up with each of you on Facebook, over the phone, or in person. It amazes me how much my family has grown and I hope it only gets bigger! I love, love, love you!
  6. I am thankful for Mr. Big. It has been a long, long road but I am thankful. Just last week he mentioned, “We may fight over silly things but at least we fight until we compromise.” I guess he has a point. We try to keep everything as perfectly balanced and even in our relationship as we possibly can. Our lows may be really low, and our highs may be really high, but for whatever reason it has worked for seven years. We are comical, and silly, and embarrassing, and a train wreck. Sometimes we hate each other and other times we really actually don’t mind one another. We call each other names, and make fun of each other, and get on each other’s nerves. He is too clingy and I am not nearly affectionate enough. I am a writer and he can’t spell. We don’t have it all figured out… but I’m sure it’ll only take him a minute.
  7. I am thankful for Bubba’s girlfriend, Sammy. She is the greatest addition to our family. She is the kindest person I have ever met. Sammy is beautiful, smart, humble, and patient. I am grateful we have had the opportunity to have her in our lives.
  8. I am thankful to have, not one, but two very different sets of best friends. Tay, Kristen, and Kayla have been there from the beginning. The BP. I could not imagine how my life would have turned out had it not been for the three of you. Our life together has been fabulous. I love you. On the other hand, Joni, Kaley, Ashleigh, and I have started a new group over the past few years. Since we have yet to name ourselves, I shall dub our group “JACK” (if that’s not frackin’ clever then I don’t know what is). I am thankful to have you three also. The time we spend together is good for my soul. I enjoy our gossip, laughter, and getting to watch my little Max Man grow. All six of you are wonderful women. You are strong, and brilliant, and gorgeous, and funny. I love each of you. Thank you for being such great friends.
  9. I am thankful that my little Sonny will never be too old or too big to crawl in my lap while I am putting my makeup on in the mornings. I am thankful for the smile he puts on my face regardless of the day I may be having, or the asshole I may be mad at, or how bad my head may be hurting. I am thankful for his sweet-naturedness and his mild-manneredness. He truly is a gift from the puppy gods.
  10. I am thankful for Wes: Blog Creator Extraordinaire. Over the past year or so, Wes really has become one of my best friends. Whether he likes it or not, I tell him everything. We work very well together, plus, I like him enough to eat lunch with him everyday and vacation with him too! What can I say? He lets me whine all day, boss him around, and he works for free?! Helllllllo!! Winner! Also, I am a big fan of his wife, Sarah. They are a great couple. Big and I enjoy spending time with them.
  11. I am thankful for my “other” families. Kayla, Kristen, Meredith, and I are just a part of one another’s families as we are our own. I love each of their parents dearly and enjoy seeing all of their brothers and sisters any chance I can. The four of us were fortunate enough to have been brought up in four wonderful households, with four wonderful sets of parents. Momma Kathy, Daddy Duran, Momma Margie, Daddy Tim, Momma Naomi, Daddy Tom, Momma, and Dad – All four of us are thankful for the eight of you… not many parents could have put up with all of our shenanigans for this long! We love you! Love, the BP.
  12. I am thankful for my job at Big Blue Box. Although it may not be what I plan on doing for the rest of my life, my job at Big Blue Box is a very wonderful job. I have a really great manager, I work with a fantastic group of people, and I have made a lot of really good friends along the way. The amount of experience I have gained in the short amount of time I have spent at Big Blue Box is indescribable. I could not have asked for a better career just two years out of college. Not to mention, I can’t thank Big Blue Box enough for what their name is gonna do for my resume… kidding! I’m kidding!
  13. Which leads me to… I am thankful for my education. You can’t know how proud you will be of something until after you have it. That’s kinda where I am at. I didn’t mind continuing my education after high school but I also didn’t feel like it really made a difference if I went to college or not. The job market is so difficult and fickle. Regardless, I am thankful Momma and Dad push their kids to go (… even though I would have went anyway) to college. I am thankful we live in a country where we (… or women, rather) have the opportunity to further our education if we choose to. I am thankful for my professors, and my classmates, and my Appalachian State University! Go! Fight! Kick ass!
  14. I know this one is going to sound weird but… I am thankful for unity. The oddest things affect me. Two weeks ago, Bubba’s football team won their conference championship. After the game a lot of parents and family walked over to the team’s field house to take photos with the boys. When Mace and I got over there the team was still in their after game meeting in the weight room. So you would guess, I walked right in. You could cut the excitement in that room with a knife. Their head coach was standing in the middle of the huddle on a chair yelling and punching his fist into the air. He would holler out a question and the boys would respond in unison. He would shout out an encouraging statement and wave his clipboard above his head. And when he commanded them to recite something, all of those boys started chanting their special football chant. A manly, we will kick your ass, football chant. They did that twice. Their voices loud, and proud, and mighty. Coach talked some more and then he said, “Let us pray.” Suddenly, tens of grown men bowed their heads and began reciting the Lord’s Prayer. These big football players, these filthy men, these deep voices, hung their heads and prayed together. Their voices loud, and proud, and mighty. I’ve heard that prayer said a thousand times but I will never forget hearing those boys say it.
  15. I am thankful for modern medicine, electricity, running water, heat in the winter, and a/c in the summer. For without all of the aforementioned, I could not: have a cure for my headaches, see to put my makeup on, wash my nappy head, warm my freezing feet, or cool my sweaty behind.
  16. I am thankful for the days I do not have to take Mace to school… and let’s get real here people, with all of the Snow Days, Holidays, Teacher Work Days, and just plain No Days, it happens quite often.
  17. I am thankful for fast food. Man, I love fast food. Arby’s, and Chic-fil-a, and McDonalds, and Wendy’s, and Bojangle’s, and Sonic, and Subway, and yes, even the dreaded Taco Bell. I love ’em all! So, here’s to all you saturated fat haters out there – FRY ON!
  18. I am thankful for my bed. All two body pillows, two European pillows, “my pillow” and pillow case, and Winnie the Pooh.
  19. I am thankful for sauce. Big is probably shaking his at this one because he knows it’s true. I luh-uuve saaaauce. BBQ sauce is my fave but sauce is an all-encompassing word. Sauce includes gravy, glazes, marinades, jus’, and dips. If you can dip it, I’m down… that is unless it has mayonnaise.
  20. I am thankful for shoes. Heels, pumps, wedges, flats, boots, stilettos, sandals, and flip flops. I could never have too many. They bring me joy. Nothing makes me happier than having someone say, “Cute shoes!” Yes, yes they are actually.
  21. I am thankful for Michael Kors. Michael, you make me feel sassy and I like it.
  22. I am thankful for any excuse to have a party. I am the party princess. I enjoy getting everyone together and making memories we will talk about for years to come. I love getting dressed up, or putting on a costume, or just breaking bread together. I love laughing, and chatting, and dancing, and being silly together.
  23. I am thankful for leggings. Yes, I have gained a little weight, people. Sometimes, regular pants just make me feel fatter but ironically, leggings make me feel fabulous. A couple of weeks ago I declared I would never wear pants again… I declared I would wear nothing but leggings for the rest of my life. Okay, so that was a little unrealistic. Seeing as how the Flashdance look isn’t exactly too corporate-America appropriate, pants are a must at least five-or-so days a week. On the weekends, however, expect to see a lot of ass.
  24. I am thankful for hair dye, makeup, nail salons, wax, and razors. For without all of the aforementioned, I would look a hawt mess.
  25. I am thankful for music and talk radio. Sometimes, I would rather listen to Ace and T.J. than carry on a conversation in real life. I like my quiet in the morning and my talk radio on my drive into work. I love music. I am thankful that my entire family has great taste in music. Bubba and I could ride in the car and sing song, after song, all day long. We love techno, hairbands, and pop from the eighties. We love nineties boy and girl bands, grunge, and rock. For my 16th birthday I asked for an Elvis’ #1’s CD. I can throw a beat down with the best of the Eastside Boyz and ball out with the best of the headbangers. I couldn’t live without my iPod.
  26. I am thankful for reality television. Thank you Real Housewives, Teen Moms, and Honey Boo Boos of America! You provide me unlimited hours of entertainment, so hats off to you guys!
  27. I am thankful for the opportunity to travel. I love being able to visit new places and also being able to continue to travel to the places that are special to me. I hope the stamps on my passport only continue to grow, the miles on my Acura only continue to accrue, and my frequent flyer miles only become more frequent.
  28. I am thankful for adult beverages. I know liquor is something sorta inappropriate to be thankful for but I am. I enjoy a good drink every now and again. And frankly, I need it. I am very uptight. I carry everything on my shoulders and let everything get under my skin. Sometimes, only a stiff drink can me mellow out. Sometimes, it takes a couple of beers for people to even want  to be around me. It’s okay, I get it, I can be a bitch. Whatevs. At least I get it honest.
  29. I am thankful for you, Ballas. For without you, I would just be another lame lady void of any real profitable hobbies, who collects shoes, and talks to herself. Thank you. Thank you for reading, Liking, Following, and Friending. You all are fabulous. The most fabulous readers I know.
  30. And finally, I am thankful for this freakin’ cruise Big, Momma B, Daddy B (Mr Big’s parents), and I are leaving for today! That’s right, kids! Miss Clariss is going abroad! Today, after Big and I get done stuffing our faces with turkey at Momma’s we are packing up Telulah and heading down to Charleston. First, we plan on dropping by Mimmie’s (Nana and Papa are making the trek up to HKY for Turkey Day with the fam) to hang for a tish and then we will make our way downtown to meet up with Momma and Daddy B. Tomorrow, we do breakfast and a quick walk around my favorite city before we board the Carnival Fantasy. For six whole days and five whole nights, the four of us will be sailing the Caribbean, swimming with dolphins, splashing in the coves at the Atlantis, drinking drinks with those cute little umbrellas, workin’ the tables and hittin’ the slots, soaking up the sun, but most importantly – we will not be working! Woohoo! Sayonara suckas!


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