Come little children, I’ll take thee away;
Into a land of enchantment…
Come little children, the time’s come to play;
Here, in my garden of magic.
– Sarah Jessica Parker
I feel like I have told you this elevendy-hundred times, but ’tis true, Ballas – I’m a Halloweenaholic!
Every single year, I look forward to pumpkins, and costumes, and cool air, and brightly colored leaves. I heart just barely scary movies about witches, and friendly ghosts, and talking cats. I love the candy, and the tricks, and the treats, and the parties. Ahh, All Hallows Eve – muh fave.
This year, for our annual Halloween Bash, Mr. Big had his mind set on dressing me up as a zombie… you know, so he could be Rick Grimes or the “Zombie Killer of the Week” (… uhh that would be a huge negative there, Ghost Rider). Clearly, I was less than enthused about his vision of me in ragged clothes, fake blood, tousled hair, and ravaged body parts. So, us girlfriends made an executive decision to ditch the boys and nix the couples costume tradition. Thank you baby Jesus! Big’s “Hag”oween idea was crushed by a majority rules vote. Finally! I could be anything my little heart desired without having to worry about my picky plus-size counterpart!
Naturally, I rallied up a few of the girlfriends and we started to brainstorm ideas. We thought about being the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but felt it was a little tired. Then I found these really cute Muppet costumes; however, my Disney villainess’ idea really took flight. So, Charlie was Ursula (from The Little Mermaid), Kaley was the Evil Queen (from Snow White), Heat was the Queen of Hearts (from Alice in Wonderland), I was Cruella De Vil (from 101 Dalmatians), and Sonny-dog was my helpless little dalmatian. We were all so cute and everyone’s costume turned out just fabulous!
As usual, the party was fantastic! Sonny had a great time with all of his Aunties and Uncles, I flitted around trying to be the best hostess I could, we didn’t run out of beer this year (although we did tap the first keg), and Mr. Big luh-oved hiding beside of the house and creepin’ up on people in his Michael Myers garb as they walked toward the porch.
In addition to the characters above, we had: Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, Ian Moon (the scariest dude from CSI), a coupla nerds, a Power Ranger, a baby, a gorilla, an old crotchety man, a creepy Momma and Daddy (plus a possessed baby), a couple of Top Gun-esque pilots, a kitty-cat, and a reggae man. There were others but soon people started to become blurry, pictures became less important to me, and well… I passed out.
Once the party was over, I then looked forward to my very first holiday in my very first home. I put my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pumpkins out on my front porch, I asked Mace if she wanted to come over and help hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, and I planned out me and Sonny’s “day of” costumes (we were football players). After work on Thursday afternoon, I stopped by Momma’s and grabbed Mace. The two of us went to the grocery store and loaded up on candy. We got: Butterfingers, 3 Musketeers, Reese’s cups, Skittles, Starbursts, and Life Saver Gummies… basically, my house was going to be the house in the neighborhood (obvi).
When we walked through my door we made a mad dash to get Sonny changed, the candy dumped into a bowl, and a “Doorbell is broken. Please knock : )” sign made for the front door. Once all of the important stuff was out of the way, we headed out to my front porch for a little photo sesh, you know, just to kill some time. And then, with the curtains drawn and the blinds open, we popped in Hocus Pocus and waited.
And we waited some more…
Then we went and checked to be sure the porch light was on. It was. So we kept waiting…
And we waited some more…
Until finally we heard a knock at the door. Yes! My very first real-life trick-or-treater! All three of us ran to the door (Mace, Sonny, and I). “Trick-or-treeeeeeat!” yelled Scooby-Doo, a princess, and some other kid I didn’t really pay any attention to (What? The Scooby was really cute.). I held our bowl of treats down and let them choose their loot. “Yeah, get it while it’s hot, kids,” I thought, “Cause soon, there ain’t gonna be any left.” We chatted for a bit, they petted Sonny, and then we sent them on their way. Sayonara, little dudes, run along now and be sure to tell your friends where the cool house is!
Mace and I were excited!
Things were starting to get warmed up and we were ready to start making shit happen!
But we were running into a bit of a problem. They – the trick-or-treaters – weren’t coming in the droves we had anticipated. And when I say they weren’t coming in droves, I mean, they came in sets. Okay, so a set to be exact.
We got a set of Batmen and that was it.
After it was all said and done, we had 5.5 trick-or-treaters. Where did the .5 come from? Yeah, well, I got excited and let the older sister of the original group who was “too cool” to dress up, grab a Reese’s cup. What a bust. I had spent $19.27 on candy for kids that have no problem throwing shit in my yard, banging on my door, and asking to play with my dog any other day of the year. But the one day – the one freakin’ day – I practically beg those bastards to come knock on my door, not a word out of ’em. Hell, the kids that did show up I’d never seen before in my life.
On the bright side, we had a nice night at home doing sister stuff. I made spaghetti, and we watched Halloween movies, and played with Sonny. Mace talked to me about this project she wants to do for school on cyber-bullying, we FaceTimed Mr. Big, and then when Bubba showed up we grilled him about his dating life.
It wasn’t what I had expected. I had expected knock, after knock, after knock at the door. I had even devised a getaway plan for when we ran out of candy (… flip our “Doorbell doesn’t work. Please knock : )” sign over and write: “Out of Candy. Neighbors are giving away iPads.”). But instead, I got to spend quality time with my little sister and talk to her about things going on in her life. I was able to make new memories in my new home with my family – instead of rando kids from up the street – while eating our own candy (all $20.00 worth of it).
And actually, now that I think about it, it’s kind of ironic…
Ironic that my very first holiday spent in my new Big Girl house was spent exactly how I’ve spent every other holiday throughout my life – with my Bubba and baby sister.
Humm. I guess some things really do never change.
Anywho, hope you all had a Happy Halloween, ’cause we sure did!